Standing Through Holy Week

For those of you who don't know, today is Holy Thursday or Maundy Thursday. It is the day that Jesus broke bread with his disciples, the Last Supper, and introduced what we now call Holy Communion.

In honor of such an important part of my Christian faith, I would like to break bread with all you, except this will be spiritual bread. That is the best bread! There are no carbs but tons of healing power for our hearts and soul.

Easter week is a very special time of year for me. I have three beautiful children and all of their birthdays are two weeks apart. So every year, one of the kids birthday's falls during or near Easter week. This year Easter week is right in between two birthdays. So our family will be literally celebrating some occasion for the better part of a month. That's fun isn't it?!

However what makes this time of year so special for me personally is the reminder that this was about the time of year where my life would change completely. My marriage's downward slope began right around my son's birthday which we just celebrated almost a week ago.

I like to think of that birthday celebration as my Holy Thursday. During my journey, that was the last time that we, as a family sat down and broke bread not knowing what was to come. I'm sure the disciples sat down to eat as they normally had without knowing that their world was about to go topsy turvy. I can relate. It was only several days later that my husband began to pull away.

The next few months of being separated from David was my Good Friday. I suffered and suffered. Please don't get me wrong. I could never compare my sufferings to that of Christ. But in my own scaled down way, I suffered many things.

When my divorce papers were served, that was my "ninth hour." Just as Jesus gave his last breath and died, I believed my marriage was also dead and my journey was over with nothing to show for all my sufferings.

Then came Saturday. It is often described as the day that Jesus simply laid in the tomb. To our natural eyes, nothing was happening besides the deterioration of his body. To those standing, Holy Saturday can easily relate to only seeing the deterioration of our marriages, family and life. The feeling of defeat and feeling foolish for believing that we could have had a restored marriage. The disciples too felt foolish for believing that Jesus could never die only to "see" otherwise.

But here comes the bread...the best bread. Holy Saturday was the most important day. It was the day that Jesus descended into the dark places to proclaim His victory in Spirit. Think about that. Victory was already at hand in the Spirit although in the physical and flesh in wasn't seen yet. God moved and gave humanity the biggest and best gift we could have ever received and in the flesh no one knew it. In the flesh they were moping around and lost their faith because of what they saw.

Oh sweet Resurrection Sunday. It came in with all its glory, spendor, pomp and circumstance. Finally celebrating in the flesh of what we could now see. Mary jumping for joy and clinging to Jesus after seeing him resurrected is all too familiar. When David asked if we could try again and come home, I too clung to him as my heart jumped for joy.

Jesus then basically tells Mary, don't jhust stand there hugging me, go and tell the brethern. And here I am telling you all of my brethern of resurrected marriage through written testimony and encouragement.

You may find yourself on the "Good Friday" of your marriage and some may find themselves on the brink of divorce or already divorced. Maybe that is your "Holy Saturday." But I want all of you to know that we can all experience a wonderful "Resurrection Sunday" in our marriages. We just have to get through Friday and Saturday first.


God Bless and Happy Holy Week!

Wondering Wednesdays - #1

I get asked lots of question from wives who are standing or simply having marital troubles and I am always amazed at how someone on one side of the country is experiencing the exact same thing as someone else a thousand miles away. So I have decided that every Wednesday I will answer your thought provoking questions. And by all means, please feel free to send me your questions and I will try to answer them on Wednesday's blog post which I have dubbed Wondering Wednesdays.

I was wondering if your husband ever told you that he didn't love you when he left?

I have a running joke with women when I answer this question. I always say that men must have been given the same break-up handbook when they are boys to study and use when they grow-up because that is the go-to break-up line. Yes, my husband David, said he didn't love me anymore.

After David and I reconciled, we spoke about this very thing and what he told me astonished me. He told me that when he said he didn't love me anymore, he meant it with every fiber of his being. Talk about crushing!

If you find yourself in situation where your spouse has uttered these words to you, don't dismiss it. The hardening of hearts happens. And guess what? Pursuing a spouse with a hardened heart further pushes him or her away. The constant phone calls, texts, fb and social media messages makes your situation worse! If your spouse has filed (hardened heart) and you are refusing to sign the papers, your are further hardening their hearts toward you.

Think about it? If someone truly annoyed and frustrated you (someone other than your spouse) and constantly bothered you even though you have made it clear that you wanted them to leave you alone, how would that make you feel? Would the constant harassment make you want to spend time with them or even develop feelings of love for them? Of course not!

I had trouble understanding this until I thought about an old boyfriend that I broke up with and how much he annoyed me and wouldn't leave me alone once I told him that I wanted to end the relationship. Let's call him Phineas. I honestly couldn't think of another name...lol. Anyway, Phineas just couldn't understand that it was over. He called me all of the time or sent messages with my friends. He even tried to win me back by offering to pay for my college tuition. (Even thoughtful gestures can be taken as intrusive) When it dawned on me that I was Phineas in my relationship with my husband, I felt terrible. I made my husband feel the way Phineas made me feel.

Please don't be a Phineas! Love yourself and your spouse enough to give them space. My husband's heart eventually softened towards me and now he super duper loves me and now won't leave ME alone. Have you ever had a Phineas in your life or have you been behaving like a Phineas yourself?

I would love to hear your feedback. Leave a comment below!

If there is anyone actually named Phineas who just so happens to be reading this, I am truly sorry. I'm sure you are a lovely person. For the record, I don't know anyone named Phineas.