Friday, April 17, 2015

I Could Have Missed This

My three beautiful children are all Spring babies. Each born only two weeks apart. This week I am celebrating the birthday of my baby girl. It is her first birthday. I am blown away how fast the year has passed. She is small for her age but fiesty. We call her Napoleon. She LOVES her big sister and loves to beat up and climb all over her big brother. She likes to yell "out" and growls at people (she learned that from her nutty uncle). Her favorite kids song is Wheels On The Bus, but loves to dance to Taylor Swift (like I said, she hangs out with her sister alot). She looks nothing like me, but she is indeed beautiful. 

I don't mean to be a braggart about my daughter. I am actually being a braggart about my God. My baby girl fills my life with so much joy. Now I can't imagine my life without her but God blessed me with her.

Six years ago, I would have never dreamed that David and I would have another baby. He didn't want me and restoration often times felt hopeless. There was only so many times I could hear him say that it was over and we were nevering gettingback together.  Equally, there were SO MANY TIMES that I just wanted to give up and move on. There came a time that I didn't even want restoration.

But God. Oh my sweet God, had a plan for my life that I could not have imagined. He told me that I would have another baby, but I just couldn't see it in my future. He told me to stand, but I couldn't see restoration either. He told me to stop being so nearsighted and rely on Him. 

Even after restoration, David and I tried for almost two years to have a baby and I just couldn't get pregnant. We gave up on that dream but God had a plan. The biggest surprise of my life came when I learned I was pregnant. A flood of memories, thoughts, prayers and emotions overwhelmed me. Several years had passed since we had first tried to get pregnant again and here I was carrying David's baby. He was so excited, he could hardly contain himself. 

I look at her now and she is such a blessing. I can't contain the tears as I think back to the times I almost gave up on my journey. I feel a little stabbing pain when I think that I could have missed this time with such a precious baby girl. She would have never existed had I chosen to give up when it got hard. 

I am not minimizing the difficulty of standing. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. However, it is also the most rewarding. She is my miracle restoration baby. I thank God for leading me to a better future although the journey getting there was difficult. 

So please don't give up. God has so much in store for you if you just hold on.




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