I get asked lots of question from wives who are standing or simply having marital troubles and I am always amazed at how someone on one side of the country is experiencing the exact same thing as someone else a thousand miles away. So I have decided that every Wednesday I will answer your thought provoking questions. And by all means, please feel free to send me your questions and I will try to answer them on Wednesday's blog post which I have dubbed Wondering Wednesdays.
This is so hard. I was wondering if you had any advice?
Straight and to the point. There is no way around the pain. You are supposed to be in pain and this is supposed to be extremely hard.
I know you were probably hoping for a more tangible response. A how-to get rid of the pain response, but the truth is, the pain is part of the journey. If it didn't hurt so much, you wouldn't care to find a solution. If it didn't hurt so much, you would have moved on with your life and not given restoration a second thought.
If it wasn't so difficult no marriage would end in divorce BUT there would be so many people who wouldn't have given their lives to Christ in the process. That includes me, David, my three children, a few family members and some of you who gave their lives to Christ as a result of my testimony. I would have never imagined enduring so much pain could result in so much eternal life.
However, God didn't cause this pain and if truth be told, I am sure you can think of reasons where both you and your spouse have failed. If you believe you have no blame, that is another matter altogether. Like in the story of Job, God is allowing the pain in hopes that you turn to Him for the answer of how to find true peace. You can only find true peace in Christ.
When times got especially difficult for me, I had to take a step back from pain and look at the bigger picture. For me, my #1 priority eventually became David's salvation. I made a promise to love him no matter what and I was determined to keep my vow. If I gave up when times got hard, how did that make me any different than David when he walked out when it got hard? It wouldn't.
So when David said hurtful things or moved on with his life, I had to take my eyes off of him and put my eyes on Him. I found that when I began to move on with Christ, me heart and life shifted.
In this pain God wants to reveal Himself to you and if you TRULY seek Him, you will find Him. I PROMISE you that a deep personal relationship with Christ will help you go through the fire. He never said you wouldn't endure hardship but He did say that He will be with you through it all.
So my advice in a nutshell...
I know you were probably hoping for a more tangible response. A how-to get rid of the pain response, but the truth is, the pain is part of the journey. If it didn't hurt so much, you wouldn't care to find a solution. If it didn't hurt so much, you would have moved on with your life and not given restoration a second thought.
If it wasn't so difficult no marriage would end in divorce BUT there would be so many people who wouldn't have given their lives to Christ in the process. That includes me, David, my three children, a few family members and some of you who gave their lives to Christ as a result of my testimony. I would have never imagined enduring so much pain could result in so much eternal life.
However, God didn't cause this pain and if truth be told, I am sure you can think of reasons where both you and your spouse have failed. If you believe you have no blame, that is another matter altogether. Like in the story of Job, God is allowing the pain in hopes that you turn to Him for the answer of how to find true peace. You can only find true peace in Christ.
When times got especially difficult for me, I had to take a step back from pain and look at the bigger picture. For me, my #1 priority eventually became David's salvation. I made a promise to love him no matter what and I was determined to keep my vow. If I gave up when times got hard, how did that make me any different than David when he walked out when it got hard? It wouldn't.
So when David said hurtful things or moved on with his life, I had to take my eyes off of him and put my eyes on Him. I found that when I began to move on with Christ, me heart and life shifted.
In this pain God wants to reveal Himself to you and if you TRULY seek Him, you will find Him. I PROMISE you that a deep personal relationship with Christ will help you go through the fire. He never said you wouldn't endure hardship but He did say that He will be with you through it all.
So my advice in a nutshell...
Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you; He will never allow the [CONSISTENLY] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail). Psalm 55:22
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